The 6th of July 2011

Dear Reader

This is a piece I wrote two years ago. I came across it while going through my old journals. I got chills reading it thinking I disliked the mentioned person so much.  I decided to share it becuase I have fully forgiven the person. I have moved on and replaced his place in my heart with forgiveness.

It is very close to me, read it with an open heart as I allow you to take a walk in my life.

Lovies
Thandi

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All these years the guys I have eye'd were attractive.
But those who eye'd me were not my type (well sometimes anyway).
Memories flood back to high school...*sigh*
Fast forward to 2009, the one guy I thought the world of took my invites and trashed my soul.
He saw a deformed self-image and vandalised it even more.
He noticed the spark he put in my life and selfishly destroyed the flames of my soul.
This one bloke I held to the heavens tore my every fibre and buried my worth.
Snatched my innocence with his raw hands and left the days ahead to devour his mess.
Is it going to get worse?
Will there be a total release.
Fed up of once knowing you excited me and with ease made me hate you. Fed up of you.
Sick and tired of your name, face.
Knowing you once even touched me, knew me, spoke to me.
The enemy is having a feast about this.
Aren't you just proud of your well planned trap.
Sick and tired of your sneers.
Cheers that you've crippled me.
I loathe your entry into my life,
The doormat you so fiercly cleaned your shoes on was my heart.
You trampled every bit of it and now it beats fearing your image.
The one guy I fell madly in infatuation with...
Bore me a strong, healthy being called HATE.
It reflected in his eyes every time he looked at me.
Now stains of pain are hard to remove.
Stubborn and destroying what little admiration I can offer.
I want to forgive, a part of me probably has.
Just angry at the damage you left.
Feels like a disability of my soul, the unseen feeding off your seeds of rejection.