The Fall of Spirits

The slight rise of an addiction,
Tearing the pieces of my morals to later bury me in worry, constant resentment.
How steady my feet were,How unshaken my views were.
Things have rotted and now there isn’t much treasure.
It’s rusted with ages of foreign pleasure. 
Was once never there,Never knew the sins that came with what I’ve had to endure.Sadness weighs my sanity to its depth.
Forgot how it feels to not be my own enemy.
Relish now, soul in green misery and despair. 
When was it said life is fair.
Come please Lord and rescue my limp soul.
It’s withered with all other days, leaving me so empty and un-whole.
Will I feel or see the colours of Joy?My Lord You are joy, please warm my rock-hard heart.
Drown me in your immense love and forever shower me with Your Promise.
Please bless me Father and restore my being.
Please pull me out of these slumps I’ve landed in and recreate my life.
Face me with wishes You have for me and please let me grow in Your glory.
I’d become best friends with the enemy.
Surrendered all I’d grown to love to appease my sinful appetite and to aid my  boredom to vanish.
I’d quenched my self-esteem issues with false confidence boosters, falsely disguised in a brown bottle.
What became of innocence? Where did humbleness turn to and when did they kill my teachings and morals? I ask them now…truth has caught up with my being.
Living a double-packaged life.

Thandi Xaba20 April 2010